The Tougher Decisions

14 Jul 2010 4 Comments

by sonomawinesnob in Long strange trip Tags: divorce, ex-husband, foreclosure, house

The Treehouse

Back in 2006, when I was somewhat happily married, my then-husband and I purchased a cozy little cabin on 10 acres in a small Oregon town about 30 miles south of Bend. The property, which then appraised for quite a bit more than we bought it for, was going to be future retirement landing space. We thought this was thinking ahead – you know, had to “get in now” before property values continued to rise.

The cabin is tiny — approx 1,040 sq ft — and it made me claustrophobic, but having 10 acres to roam around on made it somewhat more livable, plus I wasn’t (and still am not) there full time as my job takes me to Portland quite frequently, where I stay for a few days and soak up the city life and happy hours. I aptly dubbed it “The Treehouse” – as it’s completely surrounded by pine trees and was so small it reminded me of an actual treehouse, only this one had indoor plumbing.

We didn’t intend to actually live in the treehouse for very long. The plan was to sell one of our houses in California — he owned one in Sacramento and I own one in Santa Rosa — and build something suitable. It was seeming to be the trend of this sleepy little neighborhood that was once filled with retirees and fifth-wheels; now being taken over by people purchasing the properties and building nicer homes for probably the same reason we were.

So I spent three years traveling (wintertime snow and all) with my trusty Labrador over the passes of the Cascades mountains to and from the treehouse & Portland, racking up miles upon miles on my car, and dealing with the ever-growing reality of a useless husband (in more ways than one).

Then comes the economic crash, along with the thud of housing prices.

Then comes the downward spiral of my marriage and ultimate divorce.

And now comes the tougher decision: What to do with the house?

When we were deciding how to finance the treehouse upon purchasing, I had more equity in my home then the “then” husband did, so I coughed up the down payment with my assets alone, with the understanding that he would help to recoup some of that with that when his house sold. We were just starting out on that ill-fated journey and it didn’t seem like a problem at the time. Hindsight is always 20/20, as he never did help. It was a sign of things to come. We didn’t take out any ill-fated interest only loans – we went with the 30 year fixed — being in it for the long haul. Just when you think you’re doing everything right…..

Although I didn’t get into this mess on my own, now that the divorce is final, thehouse, and what to do with it, is also my burden to bear alone – out in the middle of the pine trees, where the neighbors ride around on ATV’s with coolers of Busch light bungee corded to the back (read: this is the middle of no where).

Doesn’t quite seem fair, does it?

Snowy Tree in Back 40

They really should teach a class in college on all of this. Call it CRAP 101 — or “what to do when your life falls apart.” I could be a traveling lecturer on the subject. There are days when I take the dog for a walk in the back 40 and get bummed about the reality that I might have to let the place go, and other times I get almost relieved  bythe same thought – like the house and property are just reminders of a life and dreams gone bad. It’s a vicious cycle.

So, major decisions to be made. In the meantime, I will weigh the options carefully, proceed blindly, and sing along to “Should I stay or Should I go.”

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